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Wednesday, Jun 29, 2011

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Wedding solemnization is a person of the most important events in some one’s living. It marks the stop a chapter in living and the starting of a new a person. No matter whether a cherished a person is graduating from superior school or university, it is important to make it memorable for the graduate. Whilst setting up for a Wedding celebration may well look tricky, it can be uncomplicated if you know some Wedding celebration recommendations that will make the function a prosperous a person.

one. Prepare forward: Prepare for the occasion at least a person week prior to. Do not try out to do anything in a person day if you do not want to stop up forgetting some really important details that you need to have remembered.

Organizing forward also presents you the time to polish and prepare for the function to make it as ideal as you want. Solicit Wedding celebration recommendations for friends or relatives.

two. Finalize the guest record: Place a great deal of focus on the number of people today who are heading to attend. You do not want to forget important relatives members and friends of the celebrant. You also want to make guaranteed that the food that will be prepared is sufficient for everyone. If you have numerous people today invited, make guaranteed there are sufficient chairs to accommodate them all. Mainly because Wedding is a occupied time of the 12 months, you may well operate out of chairs to lease so make an early reservation prior to it is also late.

three. Select the venue: The venue you decide on depends on no matter whether you want a very simple celebration or a huge celebration. If it is a tiny celebration with your relatives, you can have it in your yard or a neighborhood park. If you are setting up for a grand celebration, you may well choose for a private commercial put that can accommodate a big number of people today. Just make guaranteed that the put is not also huge or also tiny to accommodate everyone. The celebration can be indoors or outdoors relying on your preferences. If you prepare to celebrate outdoors, present a tent for the guests to make guaranteed that they are secured from rain, just in scenario.

four. Send out invitations: Invitations need to be sent at least a week prior to the function to give the guests sufficient time to verify their attendance. If you are setting up for a shock celebration, point out it in the invitation if you do not want the shock to be ruined.

5. Embellish: The decoration need to match the style of Wedding currently being celebrated, no matter whether superior school, university or Masters. You may well also integrate a special concept and some attention-grabbing Wedding celebration recommendations into the function to make it extra interesting. A Wedding celebration is a possibility to be inventive following several a long time of tricky function.

6. Prepare sufficient food: Don’t forget that excellent food marks a good celebration. Make guaranteed that there is sufficient for every person, bearing in brain that it is improved to have extra than sufficient food than stop up acquiring nothing at all for some of the guests. Employ a caterer if you believe you cannot prepare all the food.

7. Capture all the moments: Employ a photographer and movie-taker to document anything in the celebration. Given that this can be expensive, you can inquire a relatives member or pal to do this rather. Images and video clips make the celebration an function to cherish.

Have you worried how you have been heading to give your daughter the wonderful Quinceanera celebration you each have been dreaming about given that she was a small lady? The other day I was talking with Maria who lives in Houston, Texas. Maria was so energized about her upcoming wedding celebration. She said she has been wishing for her important day to arrive, given that she was a few a long time previous.

Maria, said she remembers when she attended her cousin’s Quinceanera when she was a really small lady. She shared, she was so confused, how wonderful her cousin looked. Maria said she always remembered her cousin searching just like Cinderella in the motion picture. Maria did say her mom was really concerned, mainly because her Quince celebration was not heading to be as elaborate as she had been hoping for more than the a long time. Her mom advised her, there was a challenge, mainly because so several of her sponsors had both misplaced their employment or their hours have been cut back.

Maria was just about crying, mainly because she said she used to notify her mom it wasn’t important how a lot funds was currently being invested on her celebration. All she wished was for every person to be joyful and get pleasure from her specific day.

I congratulated Maria for acquiring the ideal frame of mind concerning the importance of her proper of passage celebration. I shared with her the adhering to insider secrets for acquiring the ideal Quince celebration in today’s hard economic occasions.

I informed Maria, several families are experiencing restricted funds complications. But, that did not necessarily mean details could not be turned all over, by turning a unfavorable situation into an chance for every person to join collectively and participate with really like rather than with just shelling out funds.

I advisable it was really important for Maria to sit down and go over what the meaning of her celebration was to her and her relatives. She required to notify her relatives what she advised me. That she wished every person to be joyful on her specific day as they shared their joy, really like and blessings with her when she celebrated her proper of passage, as a Hispanic youthful girl on her fifteenth birthday.

  • Following, I advised Maria, she required to go over the quantity of funds that would be out there to expend for her celebration. I advised her that is what is named the spending plan. We reviewed even if the spending plan was really low like final a long time relatives Christmas celebration, that was a starting up stage.

Maria said she felt improved, mainly because she could now communicate with her father and mother, Godparents and some of her sponsors. We reviewed the importance of composing the details down when talking about the funds challenges with her relatives.

A very few days afterwards Maria phoned me back. She said her full relatives was joyful, mainly because no a person was worried any longer about not currently being in a position to afford a lavish Quinceanera celebration for her. They all appreciated being aware of how Maria definitely felt about her acquiring her dream celebration.

Maria and her relatives worked out a spending plan. Maria’s relatives had saved $one,000 more than the previous a few a long time. They figured that would cover the value of her dress and accessories, the church and invitations.

Her God Dad and mom donated their home for Maria’s celebration. Her ten sponsors agreed to meet and arrive up with a menu and each a person would prepare the food, like her birthday cake and guide serve the day of her Quinceanera.

One of her sponsors agreed to make the centerpieces. A cousin who is a DJ presented to play at her celebration. An additional cousin who is taking photography in university presented to take images and have a pal take a movie. All she had to do was spend for the duplication.

Maria said she couldn’t be happier. Her dream celebration just became a truth.

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    Wednesday, Jun 29, 2011

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    When it comes to choosing a material for your wedding veil, there is a wide spectrum of options to choose from. From traditional lace to organza to chiffon and silk tulle, the choices are almost endless. Below are some of the most popular choices of materials for wedding veils.Silk tulle Silk tulle is a lavish and timeless material for wedding veils. Many of todays brides opt for this material for their bridal veil, as it is elegant in appearance and light to wear. Silk tulle can be accessorised with pearls, sequins and beads or add a tiara to add more elegance to your wedding dress.English nettingAlthough English cotton net has a similar drape with silk tulle, it is more opaque and has more body. This type of veil is ideal for an Edwardian wedding theme. A short veil made from English netting is also best accessorized with fascinators, pearls, or flowers.Bridal illusion Bridal illusion tulle is becoming increasingly popular, most of the bridal veils available today are made from this fabric. With this material being very sheer and soft, it’s an ideal choice for todays bride to choose this material for her bridal veil. Since bridal illusion is available in different shades from pure white to diamond white and ivory you can easily choose the veil that suits your wedding gown style and colour best.LaceIf you want the vintage look for your wedding, a lace bridalveil is certainly your best choice. You may choose to have your veil done completely in lace or custom edged with lace. French lace, Belgian lace or any of the available speciality or antique laces are by far the best. Many brides opt to have silk tulle for their veil, but edged with fine lace for a more intricate, old-fashioned design.

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      Wednesday, Jun 29, 2011

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      You are probably wondering if I think about Melissa having an affair with the Farmer.

      I do. I think about it all the time.

      As a preventive measure I tell the farmer that if he cheats on me, I’ll stay with him. Forever. I’ll never leave him. He’ll be stuck on the farm with me, in misery. I try to create a scene in his head like a Beckett play:  Two characters isolated from the world, in a room, making each other miserable.

      Melissa and the Farmer always assure me that they will never do that.

      One night, in bed alone, I ask the Farmer: “Do you think about having sex with Melissa?”

      He says, “Well, I notice her body. But I don’t think about having sex with her.”

      I say, “Of course you notice her body. She has a size 00 waist and a size C bra cup.”

      “Well, okay. Then stop talking to me all the time about having sex with her and then I’ll be less likely to think about it.”

      When I ask Melissa if she is going to cheat, she is horrified. Probably because it would ruin everything we have here. Also, though, I don’t think she’s attracted to him.

      The problem is that I think she is getting more attracted to him. Which gets me thinking about how you can tell if someone will cheat.

      1. Cheating is a lot about proximity.
      We are most attracted to the people we see most often. I have read this in a lot of places. Most notably, a co-worker is more apt to like you if you work in the same office, as opposed to telecommuting, or working in another field office.

      But the proximity research works for families, as well. A psychologist I interviewed, around the time that the Farmer was dumping me because his parents hated me, told me that if I were living on the farm, his parents would start to like me more because proximity leads to affinity.

      This never happened, by the way. The Farmer’s parents hate me more than ever and they disinherited the Farmer from their land even though he is still the only one of their kids farming on the land.

      What it shows me is that you have to be open to affinity in order for proximity to enhance it.

      I think a man is always open to affinity when it comes to a woman half his age.

      And check this out: 70% of married investment bankers have cheated on their spouses. This doesn’t surprise me as much as the fact that they are most likely to cheat on a business trip, with whoever is near them at the time.

      Also, the reason half of Enron was indicted is probably because we become like the people we work with.  (The people least likely to believe this, by the way, are law students who take on tons of debt and say they will join a big law firm, not get addicted to power and money, and when their loans are paid they’ll join a nonprofit.) So cheaters foster cheaters.

      Location location location.

      2. You can estimate the verity of someone’s response to: will you cheat?
      Melissa’s horses arrived.


      In order to get the Farmer to agree to horses, Melissa told us, over and over again, how great she is with horses.

      I believed her.

      The Farmer says that a lot of people say they are good with horses, when really, they know nothing.

      Melissa told the Farmer about how her parents home schooled her so she could spend all of her adolescence at a stable, helping the trainer with the horses.

      The Farmer said, "Okay. Get horses." But he knows absolutely nothing about training horses and he can’t help her at all. So she cannot ask him for help—he doesn’t even like horses.

      The horses got here and they were supposed to come already accustomed to having a saddle on them. Instead, they reared up like in a Lone Ranger movie when we tried to ride them.

      So Melissa left the horses in the stall, sort of ignoring them.

      After a few days, the Farmer said, “Something’s wrong. She is not doing anything with the horses.”

      It turns out that Melissa had no idea how to get them to lunge longe without a pen. I don’t even know what the word lunge longe means, actually. But the farmer went out and helped her. And it turns out the farmer is great with horses. It turns out that he knows how to get the horses to lunge and Melissa was not so confident.

      This scenario makes sense to me because people's ability to self assess is generally constant.

      For example, the Farmer generally underestimates himself, and Melissa generally overestimates herself. If you can get a read on how someone estimates himself in one scenario, then you can apply it to other scenarios.

      All that makes me think that the Farmer is a little less likely to cheat than he tells me, and Melissa is a little more likely to cheat than she tells me. And the farmer loves the horse more than he admits.

      3. Assuming everyone is honest is a better way to live.
      It’s hard to be trusting. But I’m not sure I have another choice. People who trust those around them are happier, more successful people. I want to be that.

      And I’m struck how all the same things we do to build trust at work are the same things we do to build trust at home.  So the more trusting you are the more trusting you get.

      4. Being able to identify cheaters is a useless skill, even if you could do it.
      Melissa sent this link from The New Inquiry to me about spotting liars. It's an interview with a college professor who talks about how he sniffs out plagiarism. When he describes the signs, they make sense, but I might have missed them myself. For example, he says, “The correct use of a semi-colon is a red flag to me,” because most college kids don’t use semi-colons at all, let alone correctly, when writing their papers.

      The interviewer, who is someone who writes college papers for a pay, suggests that maybe so many kids plagiarize because the ability to come up with the stuff on their own isn’t that useful when it’s right there on the Internet. And maybe the kids just don’t value a college education.

      Hm. First of all, I think that probably is true. And a Stanford study shows that writing for social media is more educational than writing for class anyway.

      So what is the point of the guy being able to identify plagiarizers? Sixteen percent of the students plagiarized. He needs to realize that he has more problems than he does cheaters. For starters, he has the problem that kids obviously don’t see value in what he is teaching.

      Also, did you know that the biggest problem with theft at Barnes & Noble is employee theft? They spend a lot of money to guard against internal pilfering. It seems like it’d be more effective to spend the money on making people happy at work.

      5. Distractions are the best antidote to obsessive worry about cheats.
      I did some research about cheaters. And it turns out that people who are likely to cheat have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger. I got this from Dr. Phil via Perez Hilton. But before you bitch about my sources, it does turn out that a longer ring finger is a sign of higher rates of testosterone in utero.

      But I don’t know how useful this will be to me.  Because I have a longer ring finger. And I have never cheated on a boyfriend, or in a 15 year marriage. But I think that testosterone thing does make a difference in work. I think I’m better, more able to compete in a man’s world, because of my extra testosterone.

      So maybe I’ve been no use to you as to how to tell if someone is cheating, but you can tell if a woman will fit into an all-male office by looking at her ring finger. Really.

      Penelope Trunk

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      Wednesday, Jun 29, 2011

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      My garden is full of vegetables that I never would have guessed I could grow. There is so much that I am not sure what to do with it all.

      Because the acorn falls close to the tree, my son decided he wanted to sell rhubarb at our local farmers market. To be clear, a farmers market looks very different in a community of farmers. It's very unregulated, and people sell stuff off their trucks. Also, two farms sell heirloom rhubarb, ours and one owned by an Amish family. If you haven't noticed, the Amish are very good at what they do. They know their customers, and they always have something fun to sell, no matter what's in season.

      My relationship with my customers centers on my ability to always piss off someone, no matter if it's on my blog or in person. To make up for that, I tied ribbons around the rhubarb. I think the only thing I accomplished was a nice picture.

      My son is enterprising, though. And he realized that what people really want is our eggs. (Farm eggs are way better than supermarket eggs — even organic ones.) So he sold those at the market, and we took the rhubarb home.

      The farmers market exhausts me. You might think I'd be fun to talk to, but I'm not. I get anxious with unstructured conversation, and also, I feel that I should be friendly to the Amish but I feel awkward and really just want to ask them if they can take my kids in and teach them to speak only when spoken to for a few weeks.

      I have other ideas. Like, maybe I want to be a CSA. But by the time I put a box together, and put it in the car for my little brother to drive to New Jersey for my not-as-little brother, I think, I would never want to do this for someone who is not my family.

      So, to be honest, the only thing that I have figured out to do with my excess vegetables is have Melissa take photos of them. Here is Swiss chard and radishes.

      I told Melissa that we should use Photoshop to insert some goat cheese and then this can be an ad for my new company. Which hopefully I will launch before the turn of the next century.

      Then I told Melissa that I need her camera. I want to be good at photographs and I have learned enough about photography to know that my 0 camera is fine for taking photos it knows how to take. But my imagination is wider than that lens. Is that a cliche? I have not read enough about photography to know if I am writing in photography cliches.

      This is a rule: If you want to be good at something you need to read a lot about it. (Maybe this is an Asperger-only rule, since Asperger people learn visually.) So if you don't like reading, think of your own rule. But also, if you don't like reading, how are you even going to get through this post? Because I'm about to start meandering off topic.

      Here is the key to getting unlost when you are in your twenties: Get married or make a lot of money. Don't tell me I'm shallow. I don't care. Life is shallow, really, since we have no idea why we're here.

      In your twenties you feel like you need to get settled, and find your place. Some people need to have a special person in their life that they are connected to and making a home with. These people are caretakers and fusers. Other people need to make a lot of money, not because they want a BMW (although many do) but because it's a way to measure how valuable you are as an adult, to the other adults in the world.

      I tell this to Melissa and I tell her she doesn't need a traditional job because she wants to get married. And when it comes to getting married, men do not value women with careers. Here is the blog post about this with very good research. Also, do not tell me you're the exception to the rule. I don't care because no one is the exception to that rule. And anyway, just because you want to have sex with a banker from Goldman Sachs doesn't mean you want to marry her.

      So I tell Melissa she should look for a husband. I keep telling her that the blog was a great dating tool for me. Eventually that will happen for her. (Note to potential city suitors: I think she will be happier in the country.)

      By the way, I did not want to be married when I was in my 20s. I wanted to make money. That is fine, too. You need to know yourself.

      When you are in your 30s, the thing you need to do to feel not lost is to figure out what you want from kids. You don't need to want kids. In fact, your life will be happier and more stable if you do not have kids. Fortunately, for the human race, having kids is not a rational decision. So we keep having them and then we spend the next ten years trying to figure out how to be a parent and how not to feel like an imposter. And how to get some semblance of our own life back after the kids take over everything. (Incidentally, here is one of my favorite examples of me in the middle of this absurd struggle. During a live, video interview at BNET, my kids invaded, just seven minutes in.)

      Certainly there are people who choose to not have kids. (Note to men: This will hurt your earning power. One of the most notable statistics of corporate life is that men who have kids get more promotions than men with no kids.) If you choose to have no kids you will spend your 30s getting comfortable with the fact that the rest of society will accuse you of being an uncaring, Peter-Pan-syndrome mutant who is too narcissistic to have kids. You will get over this. All women I know who did not have kids have come through their 30s just fine, but they have war stories to tell of the verbal bombs people tossed.

      In your 40s, you get used to being lost, and it even starts to look interesting. I find that now, more than ever, I trust myself to get unlost, so I don't mind as much having to tell people I am lost.

      But in your 40s you start to worry that you're finding your way through the wrong maze. Like, you only have a few more decades of life, right? You don't want to waste them on what other people think is important. I spend most of my worry time making sure I'm worrying about the stuff that I want to worry about.

      I think I like worrying about if I need to buy a different camera. The camera Melissa uses is a 00 one. The oven I want is ,000. (Black and gold, if you want to buy it for me as a present.) I think, at this point in my life, I spend more time cooking than I do taking pictures. But I think I want it to be the opposite. So maybe I should buy the camera and not the stove. And maybe you can figure out where to spend your worry about being lost by where you choose to spend your money.

      Or maybe I should earn enough money to buy both things. And that is why I have such a large readership of people in their 20s. Because I have yet to stop being like them.

      Penelope Trunk

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      Wednesday, Jun 29, 2011

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      10 Tips as well as Alternatives When you really need in order to Personalized Wedding Favors

      Prior to buying wedding mementos, you must to be cautious and always stay in your brain that will personalized wedding favors have a important part inside accomplishment of your respective matrimony, just like wedding gown. Therefore you need to put additional thought as well as take notice of the information your souvenirs which should match to the appearance of your respective wedding party theme.

      There are several options to modify your current wedding mementos, far more distinctive as well as remarkable, and one of the finest is always to build your individual wedding mementos for every guest.

      Today, you are able to personalized wedding favors, throughout – through groups, bins, bows as well as symptoms, tattoos as well as brands are in fact virtually all your crafting ideas with regard to wedding ceremony planning. Consider you could make your prefers stand out one particular?

      10 ideas to modify your wedding day prefers.

      1. Individuality Bins: The most effective ideas with regard to wedding ceremony planning inside collection in the bride! Covered using a beautiful ribbon and frequently is made up of helpful snacks for instance package openers, coasters, spoons, mocha, page openers as well as spoons, there’s some thing to adore for any client!

      2. Baggage Draw: That of a wonderful support to the few always moving around! Styles and colors along with distinctive, customized suitcases tag words in order to help remind clients regarding strolling several fun. This particular personalized wedding favors may also be great for a new destination celebration as well as thanked your guests to travel considerably as well as help them back home along with type.

      3. Candle lights: When aromatic or otherwise not, wax lights will always be a favorite wedding mementos with regard to guests and ladies. Available in just about any coloration, design and style as well as shape, sails are utilized as well as enjoyed because of your guests.

      4. Location playing cards as well as photo albums: With bright colors, habits as well as materials, bins as well as photo albums tend to be a nice-looking add-on to the receiving stand.

      5. Stickies as well as buffer: Individualize your current pads as well as notes to your marriage ceremony colors and also the title in the bride and groom or an supply you with most of his / her sensations on the special day.

      6. Rollercoaster: In the photograph complete slot machines delicate words and phrases as well as photographs taken along with classiness, the mountains are not only seen helpful but gorgeous. Glass, earthenware as well as cork, protect using a distinctive design and style or a new personalized wedding favors for instance mountains your wedding day and allow your guests can remember.

      7. Corks Wine beverage: For people, there’s no greater present compared to wine bottle stopper. synchronised along with sophisticated designs for instance snowflakes, kisses, backside, simply leaves, stars, and durable materials as well as high quality because goblet as well as sterling silver truck caps with regard to wine bottles with all your some other wedding ceremony planning ideas on this issue certainly are a best suit.

      8. Candle members with regard to their tea wax lights, candlepower unit members to use a lot. And finest of, you are able to find the type you would like to develop their unique ideas wedding ceremony planning!

      9. Soaps: Located in satin as well as fabric prefers cleaning soap is surely an sophisticated strategy to thank your friends and relatives for their presence. With gorgeous designs, your friends and relatives are often reluctant to rely on them.

      10. Social bookmarks: Shields your current preferred stop on the save type. An element of the design as well as materials in order to plan for your wedding day ideas or styles and colors for any elegant add-on to your wedding party.

      If you are intending in order to modify your wedding day prefers, no matter whether you want in order to modify one particular favor as well as hundreds, you will need to buy these people early on ample and also to give yourself plenty of time to do your modification.

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        Tuesday, Jun 28, 2011

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        Wedding Planning To Do List

        Several Critical Duties You should To complete

        For those who have a new wedding planning to do list, no less than a person simplify your hard work in organizing the marriage. The reason why ..? by doing this, that you can do the job prior to output deadlines, costs, not to mention using the estimated results. Moreover, the project concerns marriage, exactly where wedding preparation often demands further planning, awareness, imagined, time and energy.

        Here i will discuss a few important jobs you should to perform in planning for a wedding ceremony

        A very important factor to complete is actually resolve your allowance for your wedding ceremony. Ordinarily a wedded partnership place financial pressure about the pair ahead of they can start their particular life jointly. The particular establishment with the adequate spending budget to reduce the obligation about the fiscal area of marriage. Make note of exactly what have to be bought or leased for your wedding ceremony. Is made up of all you need for your wedding ceremony. Then separate the weather about the requirements as well as would like as well as priorities of every list. Have the costs associated with things inside the list as well as measure the level out there. It’s advantageous in order to 10.5% of their policy for contingencies that can happen allow.

        Since your affordability is built, you’re ready to acquire inside list. Reserve parts or get them as well as mark all of them in your wedding planning to do list. For those who have a wedding time at a later date you might have time and energy to look for a bargains and purchasers shops. Never hold off until the final instant! Ensure that you e-book the place that the wedding ceremony will need, and also the temperature as well as unanticipated. When that rains, you will need your friends and family to move in if you are planning a wedding wedding reception outdoors. Naturally, woman get the bridal gown and also the groom possess your halloween costume in the event you go the standard route associated with marriage.

        At that time methods to begin to sense just a little stressed as well as began to question what is actually recently been neglected. Don’t trouble yourself, simply consider the wedding planning to do list that you just produced at first. Remember details like the music for your wedding ceremony as well as wedding reception. Wedding invitations will also be important. Make sure to send out the particular encourages first sufficient for most people are capable of doing in marriage. Company is crucial factors in organizing, hence the spot for wedding reception associated with guests. The sole visitor inside the wedding ceremony of the extremely common spot you’ve signed up plus much more funds towards locale as well as meals expenses for welcomed guests.

        There are several more details associated with wedding planning to do list. You should consider can be a method to be creating. Information for marriage or possibly a e-book associated with wedding preparation might help inside organizing process of marriage as well as enable you to can remember the things they did not believe as you go along. Make a comprehensive strategy and turn into with it and fewer anxiety, in addition to a comfortable event.

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          Tuesday, Jun 28, 2011

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          Question by Sirpa-paula Palvinen: Marriage problem “husband mistake”?
          I’m about to move away because my husband cheated on me. It’s just so hard because I’m on a wheelchair. So I though that should I stay and shoo my “ex”husband away? Even though my “ex”husband owns half of the apartment? This is a new thing to me so I don’t know what to do!
          And there is one problem too
          I’m also 8 months pregnant so what I do when the baby comes out?
          Should I try to get over my husbands mistake??? I mean it would be a lot easier and I still have these feelings … I’m just so confused.
          (ps: my husband offered me a new car if I stay)
          that must mean he still loves me!
          I don’t know what to do! I’m desperate!

          -Sirpa-paula
          My son is also confused

          Best answer:

          Answer by Crystal
          OMG honey don’t take him offering you a new car that he still loves you…come on the is defiently like trying to bribe you and sooooo pathetic and wrong of him. In my opinion you should leave him ASAP that is the ultimate wrong doing of him to cheat. He won’t stop and it will be almost impossible to ever trust him again. Leave now and to save you anymore heartache and you’ll find someone better.

          What do you think? Answer below!


          Simplify Marriage

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          Monday, Jun 27, 2011

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          premarital counseling eBay auctions you should keep an eye on:

          Premarital Counseling Handbook NEW by H. Norman Wright

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          The Pastor’s Manual for Premarital Counseling 1958

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          Premarital Counseling A Guidebook for the Counselor

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          End Date: Friday Jul-01-2011 9:21:15 PDT
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          Simplify Marriage

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          Sunday, Jun 26, 2011

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          Father's Day is a big deal in our house because we have two dads. We have the boys' biological dad – my Ex – and we have the Farmer. On Sundays, including Father's Day, we all spend the day together, on the farm, in mostly harmony.

          It is not perfect. A few weeks ago, my Ex left early because I'm so annoying to him. And just this morning, the Farmer and I had a fight that scared the kids so much they cried. But I think we are doing okay. And on Father's Day I feel particularly grateful for both men, because they work really hard to make sure the kids feel like they have an integrated, stable family.

          The New York Times says that women go into politics to change something, and men go into politics to be someone. I think this is true for all work, not just politics. I think women are more likely to feel important because they are home with kids, which is why more women than men leave the workforce to be with kids.

          Men are changing how they parent, but not too much, because there's still this survey from ERE that shows men prefer work to being home with kids. I do not believe we can change things completely. We are who we are. Men and women are different. The more I write about these differences in the workplace, the more I appreciate the differences at home.

          We all know that if a mom is at the playground with three kids, no one notices, but if a dad is there, people say, "He's such a great dad."

          I know that Father's Day is traditionally the day to say how great dads are blah blah. But I have a feeling that the biggest compliment we can say to a dad is that he's showing up. He's there, reliably, doing his job, and it's no big deal. Because dads are expected to do their job.

          So today my Ex played with the kids while I surfed the web, and I saw that the Farmer posted to his blog about Father's Day. And he quoted my son's blog, about the farm. And now I'm going to quote both those posts. And if you are thinking that you are blogging because you are going to earn money from it, think again. Blogging is about ideas, self-discovery, and growth. And anyone who lives a life about ideas and self-discovery will be worth more in the workplace, no matter who else is reading your blog.

          So, here's the Farmer's post from his blog, that quotes my son's post from my son's blog:

          Happy Father's Day!

          This is my second Father’s Day, but the first where I feel I’ve really put in the work.  Parenting has more challenges than rewards, but I’m thankful to have the opportunity.

          Shepherd is a budding writer, and updates a blog for family and friends.  I thought I would share the following entry from his blog.  It made my day.

          Last year I raised baby tadpoles and set them free as frogs. And this year I’m going to do it again. A few days ago, I went down to my grandparents pond with my dad and we caught one very interested toad, but we let it go because the tadpoles are what we want to raise and we will just let frogs and toads be loose. That’s the main thing in project.

          It’s fun to catch the tadpoles in the pond. Me and my dad also caught a leopard frog. It’s a not a frog-sized leopard! It’s basically a leopard-quick frog that’s yellow with black dots, but not poisonous.

          Two big achievements that me and my dad made were:

          1. Catching a bullfrog tadpole with legs. The back row of legs, that is.

          2. Another thing we did was we found the tadpole nest. But we didn’t take anything from it because it would disturb the nest. That’s where we found a leopard frog, but we didn’t catch it. We found the leopard we caught on our way back to the truck. The reason we didn’t keep the frogs and toads we caught was because they would probably eat the small tadpoles.

          I had a great time.

           

          Penelope Trunk

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          Saturday, Jun 25, 2011

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          Ten years ago, when I was pitching my book to publishers, one publisher leaned back in his chair and said, "I don't get it, she's never worked in Human Resources, she's not part of Generation Y, and we can't even figure out what her career is. So how is she qualified to give career advice to young people?"

          I got sweaty. I had pretty much run out of money, and I had spent my last dollar on getting clothes that would hide that I was pregnant. Every time I thought about this book deal falling through, I felt sick.

          My agent said, "She is great at seeing trends. She sees trends before everyone else. Generation Y is going to be huge in the workplace. Alternative careers are going to be huge. She is the only person talking about it. She is a franchise. She will be writing books about trendspotting for the rest of her life."

          I could have hugged my agent. I had never thought of myself the way she described me. I mostly just thought of myself as someone who couldn't even handle playing on the professional beach volleyball tour for more than a year.

          So, with my agent's endorsement (sort of—I think she has fired me because of my insolence when it comes to not following publishing industry conventions) I present my three favorite trends of this year:

          1. Cheating on your company will be okay. Companies will allow employees to do start-ups while they are full-time as a way of keeping top talent. Right now entrepreneurship is totally hot. A lot of people quit their job so they can do a start-up. Microsoft has officially allowed people to do a start-up while they work full-time.  Other companies will follow.

          2. Thieves will have to change tactics as people will leverage social media to track down and punish thieves. This is actually already happening. Check out this guy who snapped photos of someone using his stolen Macbook via his stolen Macbook. But the trend will become so big that people will have to resort to new tactics of thievery to avoid the public embarrassment of social media.

          3. We will live in an era of  eccentric collections. A few trends are converging right now. First, materialism is not cool. Gen X hates it, but also, post-crash America has revealed a new, credit-weary consumer. Second, content curation is a huge online right now –  companies launching products that help people make sense of too much stuff. The convergence of these two situations will be that people shift their natural, human tendency to collect from the physical world to the virtual world, which means what we collect will expand.

          Paul Hassing is a guy who sends me great links about collections. He's the person who first told me about Pinterest, and he sent me a link to The Puddle Blog, which is a great collection of puddles.

          I like that I got to spot three trends in one post. I notice this stuff and it starts burning in my head until I have the chance to tell someone. I can't tell if I'm on target until I start telling someone. An audience makes a difference. Are you wondering if you have trends in your head that you're right about?

          How do you know if you're working hard enough at it? Melissa is great at spotting trends for social media and for fashion (two areas I'm not good at). She is pretty difficult to work with, but she gets hired by random people to do random stuff, like tell them what social media tools will be best for attracting renters in rural areas in the next three years. Are you wondering what Melissa does with her days? She reads. She mostly reads off her iPhone, which she sleeps with. She reads so much that she has to have a stack of magazines wherever she is. Just in case. Here is what she was doing two hours ago:

          Do you know what she's doing right now? She's thinking. She is staring at the wall. Probably processing all the stuff in her head. This is what most trendspotters do: look, listen, process. Of course other trendspotters get paid for doing it, but Melissa illustrates the point that it might be something you're born with—the ability to spot trends. Because that kind of stuff that you're born with is the stuff you do whether you are paid or not. (Would-be novelists please take note.)

          I was talking to Tyler Cowen last year. Or the year before. Whenever it was that his book, Create Your Own Economy, came out. Before Business Week named him the world's hottest economist, which, of course, makes me feel hot because I have spoken with the hottest economist in the world.

          In fact, I have argued with him. Tyler was telling me that happiness is not that important to people—that some people just find pleasure in consuming information and ideas and they don't need the trappings of happiness. First I told him he was crazy and maybe a sociopath and then I stole his idea and made it my own in my wildly popular post which I never acknowledged as perhaps a little bit stolen: Is your life happy or interesting? Anyway, Tyler is great at spotting trends, which makes him the world's most interesting (is that what famous means?) economist and also a totally fun blogger. (Here's his blog.)

          Bottom line: you can bet that if you do not process information as a way to feel like you are alive, then you are probably not a trend spotter.

          How do you know if you're on to something? Remember that picture at the top of the post? Did you know what it was for? If  you've had a baby, the answer is yes. The idea of a parent rocking next to a sleeping baby is so incredibly obvious that it's amazing this chair has not been invented before. Parents get sick of holding a baby. You do not know this until you've had a baby of your own. So the chair is an absolute yes. It's got great craftsmanship and it's a great idea. Everyone will say yes to this chair. (And then people will say, how much? )

          The way you know if you're right or not is that you hear peoples' reactions. Good ideas get two reactions:

          One reaction is like when the proverbial light bulb goes on when the person hears or sees the idea. The idea is so on-target that it's a pleasurable moment for the person who sees a piece in the jigsaw puzzle of life fitting into place.

          The other reaction you can get to a good idea is shock: This is terrible, awful, upsetting, offensive. You know you're on target with that reaction as well. Because you think it might be right, but it's so counter-intuitive that people cannot see it's right because they would have to switch their world view. I experienced this when I started saying that women should not report sexual harassment.

          How do you know if what you're saying is not new? You see confirmation that you're right. It's the kind of confirmation where you can tell for sure that the world agrees with you and you are right smack dab in the middle of a trend. Because if you're right there with everyone else, then you're not doing anything new.

          I had that feeling when I looked at the New Yorker cover a few weeks ago. Just when I was settling into the idea of me being a city girl with a farmer's wife life, I see that I'm a Park Slope cliche:

           

           

           

          Penelope Trunk

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