Hello gentlemen who read my blog. This is a message for you guys:)
Simple answer to this question is…
ONLY if her inner beauty causes her to become externally beautiful to you and you start having romantic/sexual feelings for her.
If you don’t feel those romantic emotions with this “nice” girl, don’t even think about it.
Here’s a letter from a reader, maybe you can relate!
I am a 25 year old guy and am sort of seeing this woman. We started taking
dancing lessons together, and I began to like her. I told her this, and she told
me that she felt the same. We have gone on some dates, and I think that she is
great, but I have found that I am not really attracted to her. I wish I was, but
am not. I feel somewhat confused because I do have feelings for her, but do not
know if they are really “romantic feelings”. What should I do?
Here’s my response. You can read the red stuff if you want to just get to the gist of it all:)
…Maybe the first thing to ask yourself is, why did you begin to like this woman? What were you initially attracted to in her? If it’s because she is a lot of fun, a skilled dancer, funny etc…that’s great and all, but what separates friends from love interests is one key factor: physical and sexual attraction.
Yes, the media may give physical attraction too much credit, but it is still a very important factor. Dancing is a passionate activity where partners are touching so this could have confused the matter. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the company of someone sharing similar interests, just don’t confuse that enjoying your time with someone of the opposite sex with having romantic feelings for her.
If you have to ask yourself if you’re romantically or sexually interested in a woman or if you question your physical attraction for her, to me that’s a dead giveaway that whatever fondness you feel for her, it’s not enough to pursue her.
Don’t waste your time or hers. You’ll do yourself and her a favor by keeping it just friendly.
Why do I say you’re doing her a favor?
Well, because every woman wants to be with her dream man. And every woman’s dream man shares one thing in common: that man is crazy about her. If you’re not crazy about her or even question your attraction for her, you are not her dream man.
Let her go. Set her free to be available when her dream man does come into her life.
Every woman is beautiful to the man they are meant for.
She deserves to find that man… And it benefits you to let her go too because it’s so much easier to love someone you’re attracted to. It’s easier to forgive the girl you find irresistable and cute.
Love with someone you’re attracted to is already going to take hard work, better to have the initial strong attraction to help out.
I’m just saying that the feelings of affection that will be natural in someone you are really attracted to will go a long way when you are looking for lifelong love.
Yes, people do grow to love others, but I’m just not a fan of that with the wide range of potentials and the freedom to choose a mate. Why? Because when you force things, love becomes a chore.
When you pursue people you’re naturally attracted to, feelings you don’t have to question or force, it is more of a joy to love them instead of a chore. If you question the sexual chemistry or your physical attraction, let her free. Move on.
And I’d like to end with one of my favorite quotes from the movie Dreams of an Insomniac, “There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with, love shouldn’t be one of them.” (start at 1:36)
Here are some articles dealing with this issue