A typical expression is “I’ll meet you halfway,” and we often take that attitude into our marriage. In every relationship, both the partners make adjustments to make the relationship a success. Both give up many choices in life and try to contribute for the continuation of the relationship. Every person must give up things for the other. A good union requires them. It’s also a great feeling to give so the other can feel loved. Having given up something makes us feel good.

A superb marriage is never just about an equal split. Periodically one will just give more. The one thing to keep in mind is that each person committed to the idea that they would each give one hundred percent to the relationship. But that will look different for each person. One of the basic tenants of life is that there will always be inequities in life. We must realize that there is never any true balance.

The misunderstanding that most people make is that they think that things are equally divided. We must all learn to give toward the happiness of our spouse in order to make a marriage work properly. Yet keep in mind that even those that have found the happy medium still do not have things split fifty fifty.

Remember that the love quotes we all seem to know are there to show us what love can be and not to criticize our relationship. Certainly it’s true that we all want a love like the love in the quotes about love Yet that sort of relationship is one that is hard won and not just given.

For any relationship to work it must be understood that a marriage is a full time commitment and not to be entered with only half hearted intentions. Some of us are givers by our natural instinct. Givers will naturally be the ones to just give in a relationship. And as we have noted before, every spouse will offer different things to the happiness of the other at different times. They may find themselves feeling bitter. I am only giving since years. I am not getting anything in return. Why am I being demanded to give again and again.

The question is, can you look at your relationship from the standpoint of sacrifice? We need to have them acknowledged. And yet the marriage must be a place of sacrifice. Each spouse must be careful to consider the other. Each person needs to be respected. Such thoughts slowly develop and destroy the relationship over period of time. Any relationship that began with imbalances would not survive long if checks are not kept. If you are a giver, take note of your mates behavior.

We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also need to give love and appreciation to others. But keep in mind that most marriages do not have equal earning power for both spouses to it will be hard for each to give equally. If you enter the union with the expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.

If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and good strokes that you deserve. If you are able to have a sense of gratitude and peacefulness in your relationship, you will have a relationship that will give you much happiness.

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